Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
