i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
A bitchslap is in order.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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