I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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