New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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