Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
someone owes me an orgasm
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
