I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He did a backflip because drugs
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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