My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
