Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we're chasing vodka with high fives
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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