dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
