I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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