Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i dont even know how to be here
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
