The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
