There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize