So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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