the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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