if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
