Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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