So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
