and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
