my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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