Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize