we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
