Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I touched a dick in church today
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
