I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
