I faked an abortion last night.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
