please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
