it wasn't lemon gatorade
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
