just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize