Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
MIDGETS
????
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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