Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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