if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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