Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
