I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.