You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life