i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.