Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
