I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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