every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
