My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
