It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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