College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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