Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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