If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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