so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
