can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
