Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
