you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize