is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
