Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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