i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's shark week go big or go home
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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