At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
