Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
