He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
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Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
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I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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