He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
