My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
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I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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