Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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