Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
