Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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