I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
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Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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