Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
