tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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