So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just tell him i said nine months
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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