I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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