She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
