Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
