Moan for me like Helen Keller
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
